Should You GO FOR NO in Your Business?

I received a little bitty book on personal performance called “Go For No! Yes is the destination, No is how you get there” by Richard Fenton and Andrea Waltz.

I didn’t think this book would be a fit for me or my clients in the wellness field, after all, it was written for sales professionals. However, I am always open to insights from other industries (it's one of my favorite things to do!) so I plunked down the other night and to my surprise, in less than one hour I transformed my relationship with the word NO and the idea of failure. (Not bad for one-hour!)

If you can get over the sales talk and sales feel to this book, you’ll find it’s full of insightful gems. For example: One of the most helpful things I learned was how failure isn’t really a problem, it’s just part of the process of achieving something. According to the authors, most people think that the road to success is something like this:

SUCCESS <-  ME  -> FAILURE

This made sense to me as I've had a habit of trying to move away from failure and towards success. No one likes failure and rejection, least of all me. It feels so bad! I even hate the word! I don’t want to be a loser. Ahhhh!

Yet the authors suggest another perspective.

ME -> FAILURE -> SUCCESS

When I started to think about this concept, and how people who become successful usually stick to something, stand for something and just keep at it, this perspective began to take hold.

“I realized that failure was the halfway mark on the road to success, not a destination to be avoided but rather, a stepping stone to get what I really wanted in life. Most people get to the sign marked ‘failure’ and they figure they’re heading in the wrong direction, turn around and head back home. They think that success must be back the other way, but it’s not! It’s straight ahead.”

As it turns out, successful people do not face less failure then the average person, they just transformed their relationship with the word NO (and other forms of professional rejection) and what it meant to them. When you no longer make the word NO mean “you suck” or “who do you think you are” or “that’s a crummy idea” you start to build an immunity to the effects of that word. It’s not about numbing yourself to rejection. It’s about transforming your response to NO so that it loses power over you and as a result, you can see the greater truth in any situation (versus getting wrapped up in what you think it means). In the case of wellness professionals, “no” could show up as zero attendees to your presentation, a potential client doesn't call you back, or your email announcement received zero responses.

The authors share how as children we played a game with the word “no”. How many times would you keep going back to your parents to ask for something you really wanted? I would spend the entire afternoon just asking why I couldn’t go to my friend’s house. I’d spend an hour lurking around the kitchen until mom eventually agreed to give me a cookie (even though it was almost dinner time). “Somewhere along the line”, the authors write, “our natural sense of tenacity we had as children got drummed out of us. As a child we knew not to take rejection personally, but as adults we forget that.”

So if you could make NO mean something other than rejection, what would that be?

• Not yet.
• I’m not ready yet.
• This isn’t quite it.
• Something’s missing.
• Ask me again later.
• I’m so busy I can’t think straight. Can you remind me again why I need to do this?
• Whoops, I’m so busy and overworked that I missed your email / call / appointment.
• Can you simplify this process?
• Help me understand the benefits to me.
• Help me understand the impact your service will have on my life.
• Help me get clear on what’s important in my life.
• I’m scared to make changes.
• I’m scared of living my best life/getting healthy.
• Oh my God. I could really do this. What will people think if I change my life?
• Make my life easier, not more complicated.
• Don’t make me think too hard. Be the expert and show me the way.

Doesn’t that feel better? It takes the YOU out of the failure and puts the emphasis on the client. Wouldn’t that call forth a different inner response to “rejection”? What kind of actions would this perspective lead you to take? Again, in the case of health, wellness and “change your life” practitioners, think of of NO as low/zero response to your workshops, newsletters, an initial consultation that didn’t turn into a client, a client cancellation, or no one signs up for your seminar.

• Hmmm… no one signed up for my tele-seminar series. I’ll send a reminder email with a quick and with an even easier way to sign up. They were probably too busy and missed my email. 
• Hmmm… this initial consultation didn’t turn into a client. I will ask why. Perhaps then I’ll get some insights into what holds my clients back or fresh ideas for a program structure that people would jump through hoops to attend.
• Hmmm… no one signed up for my workshop. I wonder what’ really going on for my potential clients? Maybe they didn’t even notice my flyer. How about if I go to them? I’ll bring this workshop to local businesses for a lunch-n-learn talk.
• Potential clients say my rates are too high and that’s why they can’t hire me. Hmmm… Is that really true? They probably did not really grasp the value of the impact my services. Perhaps I’ll brush up on my ability to help them see this. And maybe I could start a group program to solve any financial barrier too.

This little gem of a book taught me that failure isn’t something successful people avoid, it’s just a natural part of the process. It’s what we make it mean that matters.

To learn more about this book and the other enlightening perspectives on failure and success, get the book here.

Hope this helps!

To your continued professional expansion,

Karin

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